This story was narrated to me.
Michael had the urge to fart while inside a PUJ. But, horrors! He didn't like to create a loud and smelly scandal. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the music hoping to calm down his stomach.
Anong balita / sa radyo at TV/ Ganon pa rin/ kumakapa sa dilim/Minsa'y naisip ko nang umalis na lang dito...
It was Monday. Yesterday, Michael's boardmates returned from their hometowns with the usual homegrown foodstuff. So, this morning Michael pigged out on nilaga na kamote at saging, scrambled native egg at kape. He ate ravenously especially because, this morning, the food was free. No wonder, now his stomach was revolting.
Bato-bato sa langit/ tamaa'y huwag magalit./ Alam naman natin / kung sino ang toso......
Sa bawat lumuluhang dukha/Alay ko'y dugo./ May kasama ka kapatid, kaibigan./ Hangang ako'y humihinga/ may pag-asa pa...
After a few seconds, Michael could not hold back anymore. He must pass wind now. So he closed his eyes and let go, hoping that nobody would notice.
Hallehuhulu.. Hallelujahhhh...
And, possibly it was his lucky day. He heard nothing. The wind passed in sync with the drums and shouts of the rock music. Now he knew he could do it again. He just have to time it with the music. And so, when a storm signal percolated in his stomach, he let the raging wind pass in time with the loudest audio in the music. Sinong galit/ sumigaw / kagabi .. And as he heard nothing, he surmised that his fellow passengers heard nothing also. Hallehuhulu.. Hallelujahhh.. Then he farted again. And again. And again. And he heard nothing. Everything was timed with the crash of the instruments. Hallehe... he... he.. Then he gingerely opened his lids. He sensed that he was nearing his destination. He blurted, 'Lugar lang'. But the driver seemed not to hear him. Hallelujah... So he opened his eyes and shouted 'Sa lugar lang! Putsa.'. Then he noticed everybody was looking at him. Oh well, astig ako, he thought. He just shouted at the driver, right? .. see the faces in front of me... But before he disembarked, he thought he should give the driver a lesson. So he farted again to the tune of Let's go. Hallelujah... As he prepared to get down, he noticed that everyone was looking at him with naughty expressions on their faces. A passenger spoke to him. But he could not hear. He heard only the rock music. Save me from the fahyahr.. from the fahyahr... Then he realized that earphones were stuck to his ears. The music was from his ipod! He got his earphones and the music stopped. In a clear baritone heard by everybody, a passenger told him, 'Pare, rock band ang almusal mo? Grabe ka umutot. Parang rock concert!'. And the PUJ rocked as everybody, including the driver, nearly died laughing. Michael too wanted to die at that moment.
Moral lesson: Fart inside the PUJ if you like. But time it with the music. And be sure that the music is not from your ipod.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
How to fart inside a PUJ without creating a scandal
Monday, September 21, 2009
Remembering 'Hello Garci'
September 21 is known in the Philippines as the anniversary of the imposition of martial law. Many have been written about the evils of martial law. I don't have to delve on this here.
But today I would like viewers to revisit 'Hello Garci' and ponder on its repercussions if ever it happens again.
Please watch.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Arroyo son on his statement of assets and liabilities
Q1. How do you catch a fish?
A1. By its mouth.
Q2. How do you catch a thief?
A2. By the stupidity of his answers.
Q3. Why is it hard to prosecute Marcos?
A3. His children know how to answer questions regarding their ill-gotten wealth.
Q4. Why is Gloria Arroyo so hated? Have you seen any non-government website or blog which is sympathetic to her?
A4. Blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, ............................., etc.
For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV
Saturday, August 15, 2009
What to do when you have PhP 2,000,000?
If I have PhP 2,000,000.00 (Yes, two million pesos), I will dine in Le Cirque (native French speakers say Lu Cirk, non-French speakers read it as Le Cirk) in New York. I will see to it that the bill for my dinner should hover near PhP 1,000,000.00. Bakit si Gloria Arroyo lang ba ang marunong ng tinatawag na high life? And after dining and wining in that fancy and pricey restaurant, I will hire a stretch limo with a white-gloved chauffer to drive me around New York City, and off to Washington DC where I will reserve a table overlooking the sidewalk for lunch (Barack Obama might see me as he walks to his office, and might want to have a chat with me.) in that other fancy restaurant, the Bobby Van’s Steakhouse at 15th Street. Ah, Ms. Arroyo, eat your heart out. I will splurge like no other but Gloria Arroyo.
Herewith are some clippings from Ms. Arroyo's spending habit which I plan to top. Daw siya pa ang astig! The first clipping is from the New York Post. The second one is from the Washington Post.
From: The Washington Post’s Reliable Source gossip column
by Roxanne Roberts and Amy Argetsinger
Heartburn Over Two Big Meals
President Obama and Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo talk in the Oval Office on July 30. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)
Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo’s visit to the White House on July 30 didn’t draw much attention, and her dinner in Washington that night got nary a mention. And that’s how it might have stayed — if not for a controversial meal in New York City.
Arroyo is under fire in her native country for a $20,000 meal at Manhattan’s Le Cirque on Aug. 2, which included caviar and several bottles of champagne. The dinner, first reported in the New York Post, has Arroyo’s critics comparing her to the extravagant Imelda Marcos.
The Reliable Source has learned that three days earlier, Arroyo and an entourage of about 65 people (including security and food tasters) had dinner at Bobby Van’s Steakhouse on 15th Street NW hours after she met with President Obama. The group took over one of the restaurant’s private rooms and dined on lobster, steak and fine wines; at the conclusion of the meal, an unidentified woman opened a handbag stuffed with cash, counted out bills and paid the $15,000 tab — which included a generous tip.
The Philippine Embassy did not return calls for comment Tuesday. @
Monday, July 27, 2009
The prize/price of vanity
I saw this article while surfing the web. I copied it verbatimly. Might as well share it with you.
My point is... People today attach too much attention to their appearance. They will do anything their money can buy to enhance their looks. Kaya yumaman at sumikat si Vicky Belo.
Anyway, read this piece and make up your mind. To Belo, or not to Belo? That's the question.
Warning: After the jump on clicking Read More..., there are Parental Guidance photos.
This is a butt augmentation procedure that went horribly wrong. It landed Josie, as she is known to friends, in St. Luke’s hospital where she went into septic shock. Emerging from that medical crisis, she was so blinded by extreme pain, she had to be put on a morphine drip. At some point, nearly half crazy with the pain that constantly wracked her entire body and kept deliberately immobile, face down on her bed, she begged the doctors to let her die. “Please,” she begged, “tanggalin nyo na lahat ng tinusok nyo sa akin, hayaan nyo na akong mamatay, hindi ko na ito kaya…”
Six major operations after being admitted into St. Luke’s, she is back home, but still devastated. She has lost over thirty pounds, she remains weak and on pain killers – though milder ones now. She has become the face of what could horribly go wrong in the megamillion peso beauty industry, a business populated by charlatans brandishing doctor’s licenses.
And that is what remains now. Josie plays in her mind Vicky Belo’s sales pitch for her procedure, “Safe na safe ito, tubig lang sya, kaya hindi magrereject ito.” But as we can clearly see from the pictures here, this turned out to be a horrible lie.
Ga-patad ka sa LOTTO? I-memorize ang numero nga ini....
